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Peter Griffin Family Guy
Peter Griffin(when he's hungover): This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum. (Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur
skeltons.)
Peter Griffin (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
Peter Griffin Family Guy
Peter Griffin (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.)
I woke several hours later in a daze."
Peter Griffinthis is : It's already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
Brian: All? Peter, only only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
Peter Griffin: No, the rest were from the family. Weren't they? (Pauses.) Oh crap...since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?
Brian: They had a meeting about it last night.
Peter Griffin: Why wasn't I told?
Brian: They sent you a card, but it said "for Peter" on it so you must of thought it was from you, so you didn't...you know, its just easier to call you stupid.
"Peter Griffin, Family Guy"
posted by Jay at 11:59 AM
3 Comments:
I love this show.. Very funny and oh so adult in nature. Have you seen the unedited special yet? Very naughty.
Karen
Tits -n- Toast
this show is so awesome...i think that who ever came up with the show should really get a lot of money
Quagmire: Hey Peter, you can't drink that outside you can end up in jail ... and not the good jail like on CineMax, the man jail.
Guy in Wheelchair:Go Back and pay the bill Peter!You uh don't want to break the law.
Peter:I can do whatever i wan't watch this.(steps on grass posted not to step on)
Cleavland:Oh now your just being crazy.
Police Officer:Hey that's against the law your coming with me.
Peter:Uh, unh, unh.....Can't touch me!!Can't touch me!Ju..Ju..Ju..Just like the bad guy off of Lethal Weapon 2 I've got diplomatic immunity, so hammer you can't sue.i can write grafitti even j-walk in the street i can Ryan Loop not give a hoot and touch your sister's teet. Can't touch me!!Can't touch me!!(Adam West: what in God's name is he doing?)Can't touch me!!(Cleavland: I believe that's the worm.)Stop! Peter time. I'm a big Shot there's no doubt , i'll light a fire and pee it out don't like it kiss my rump just for a minute let's all do the bump...................Can't touch me!! Yeah do the Peter Griffin bump. Can't Touch me!!im presidential peter interns think i'm hot dont care if your handicap i'll still park in your spot i've been around the world from harvord to bombay it's Peter Go Peter I'm So Peter Yo Peter Let's see Regis Rap this way Can't touch me!!
Peter Griffin:Except for you, you can touch me.
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